I AM THE ECLIPSED SUN...O NA RAINY DAY!

obscessed with this local band ....sigh if only they were promoted more lols i actually rewrote one of their songs to suit me sigh lol
who are we?
who am i?
i know thats besides thhe point of the song but i just cudnt help to add my own meaning bored sigh

music

Music has also changed... i went from political rock to...well meaning full rock...only htings that make sense to me do i bear listening now..its strange cuz now rage againts the mahcine isnt 100% the ideal thing...ofcourse i lisetn to eveything but now its alot of new metal like
system of a down ,korn,deftones,hed pe you know alll those trippy zombie type rappers
...you know anything with a angry luittle meaning or some sort of poetic value and of course it never hurts to have extrenme andger in hte mix ...and aloso i listn to ALOT of softcore indie ones hta have meaning to me just alot
screams are like fall of troy the most lol i lofve soft core liek the kooks and what not... iok this was a dumb attmpt

nil.

Nihilism (from the Latin nihil, nothing) is the philosophical doctrine suggesting that values do not exist but rather are falsely invented. Most commonly, nihilism is presented in the form of existential nihilism which argues that life[1] is without meaning, purpose, or intrinsic value. Moral nihilists assert that morality does not exist, and subsequently there are no moral values with which to uphold a rule or to logically prefer one action over another.

im like that i believe this...it took an idiot to tell me this...dumbest person on earth showed me that i actualyl had a religion kind of ...if u add
not caring if im wrong about this.
..and not really believing we need codes to live by.... the ability to judge if someone is right or wrong to make thier life choices peoples value ...well stress on these things...im not there i do believe in beyond my little existence my religion is nothing ...nil my god is nothing but the time and air and things that rule me...the soil the trees the very food i have to eat...
the supernatural higher beings or "gods"..i do not know if they exist or really care..they do not matter to me and i do not believe it is possible to know what happens after death...and whatever happens will just be an action positive or negative ..it does not matter.. eternal punishment can only be so bad in the end what does it matter?like life and hell...are not very different if u think about it...heaven is a lie...there is no such thing as perfection ...and forever is not definatly a good thing... they are both flawed and its all men promise...and i guess i cannot know until i die... im sick of writing i can go on woith my religion or belieef or moral or whatever for ever becuz its really big i guess...only that when u see me two years from now in a nowhere rock band covered in tatoos with a few diseases to boot lol i dont expect u 2 accept me..ill still be there...somewhere in myself a person who...u might love back idk..>_> just saying as far as my religion ahs changed jsut to make it clear...for simone i guess...if she ever reads it hah gosh...not in a dramatic way

grew up a fucking screwup

my life is null and void my soul is black no one can hear me scream and im all alone and lonsely nobody understands me...sometimes i just want to slit my wrist and put my self out of misery
lol hahahhaha hnah its not liek that ...im not emo...people have bin saying that recently because the amount of times i say i dont care about somehting a day...its because i dont .i cannot explain why its to much to type out realyl in my blog i just dont. fullstop not really but i cant explain anything to any idk person who hasnt bin through the shit i have ...which ui never tell anyone anyway ...but its like i dont care anymore ...example people keep telling me not to do shit like have sex and what not and if i ask why theyd jsut say cuz its wrong . but this whole right and wrong thing... u never examined it did u? so im officially a fuckup in summary ...the biggest one of them all cept no drugs and tatoos which i just dont feel like..and i guess wehn my friends start to notice to the extent that i have ...idk changed in hte past month or 2...they gonna just abandon my ass...they just on different tracks from me? and i know exactly whos gonna stay... lately also ive bin homeless...havnt gone to my dads house since...my last cxc exam have just bin totally sleeping about the place...haha not in that way...lately im not as much as a whore as people htink i am i actualyl dont do anything atall they think being careless ...means that i go about with any old broad...bah enough of that typing...lately i just like rock...only thing that exists to me in a strange way i cannot type with no reply or questioning for soem1 to possibly understand i guess if i typed a mile nmo one wud really get it...this is just for simone ...a just btw...i tried