I play russian roulette

>
I PLAY RUSSIAN ROULETTE A MANS SPORT
WITH A BULLET CALLED LIFE
GAh! best line its just a thought...
what wud i regret.
Words without action are Assasins to Idealism
we all talk but noone is listening ,we all have so much to tell you can see it by watching in each others eyes hearing the passion sometimes in someones voice makes me want to listen to them all day.. i want to hear every ones ideolism thoughts actions reactions expreiences iw ant to live and live more ,one life is not enough for me ,i hope one day i could be a ghost and roam this earth watching peoples lives ,watching that first kiss how happy it will make you then ho whorribly sad t wud be when ur first love breaks away..the sorrow is rich no?
i like to see the genuine emotion no matter what it be a child opening his christmas presents ,a love triangle with three idle teens the actions adn reactions the cause I WANT TO HEAR EVERYONES STORY!
,i want to answer the question why are people people! the question that in life i will never be able to answer not in this life ill beg to be immortal but it ant happen so ill make much use of my time here by the end i promise ill have a answer..
let me move before i get shot!
idk... as i watch life through a peephole ^_^

What if atlas shrugged?

well he did
i have noticed my evil ways today,ive lost myself and ive lost myself badly today was a good day of thought just siotting and thinking because i wanted to (i was sick) i want to be a better person ill drop the facade im 2 bad now to even idk u cant begin to conceptualise how evil i am and have become because u still remember the old me that used to show im going back to religion and idk im going to be good again
im going to lsoe my sall mind and watch the world from far i swear it ,i am no longer a hatefull being and i feel lighter literally my pescimism is gone and my sadness remains butthats nohting im going to be more positive
i want to be who i used to be the happy guy whp thought a lot and never lied (nit that i do lie)
but i do keep stuff back alot of stuff cuz some people dont need to hear some stuff but i want t o love epopel for people and people to love me for me so i dont care anymore
i dislike simones boyfriend
i got lucky over the vacation
and a good few girls like me and i dont know why but i never speak of it
i cried once and told no one my esteem was low and i just started to cry girls are damaging
i only say i will kill myself because i know i wud die before anyway im inredibly unhealthy even if i dont look it i think
i smile even when im sad when peple are around and i dont naturally look sad i actually am just a dissapointed person ,i think up of stuff on the spot to reassure people
i only help people because i can and most of the time i dont
i am very small minded when it comes to arguing VERY
contrary to popular belief i am part of the middle classed society idk where i get money i just get it ok...
i miss people alot even my male frieds especially simone i miss her 2 much cuz i think i like her idk im a really confused person because im insecure but i dont show it because dumb people will stop trusting my words if i didnt give a good facade
i like rocker girls infact if i had more confidence i wud go talk to them
im really afraid to kiss a girl no matter how confident i act lol thats why i pose like im really cool literally try to imagine me kissing a girl when shes next to me if im lying back on the couch or sitting ontop of something highly unstable?
im mor perverted than i claim i used to watch porn everyday but i got bored and no i just used to like to watch it i didnt do "the sin" every day
i actually only write my blog so i cud know myself a little better and idk see how i am
i dont have as much hate as i say i have actually certain people cud spit on me and id still loveem
im only tough physically but i claim to be tough inside 2
im afraid of alot of things killer whales for example
i only train so i cud look better and feel better because i used to feel sick when i looked in the mirror
i like people alot more than i tell them if i say were really good frieds i probly mean i love u if i say i love u it probly means id jump a bullet for you and i if isay i really love you den boy u have me in areal good postion i dotn care to leave myself vunerable
i hate rules
when some1 disagrees with me it pisses me off
i am so effing ocnfused in life
and u can ask me anyother random thing lol\
im incredibly ashamed of my race ill write about that later\
lol idk what else to write ask and u WILL be told O YEAH I ACTUALLY FORCE MYSELF TO BE MYSELF I ACTUALLY DO and most of the time is say im not offended im trying to be mature which im not and only time i be myself totally is when im comfortable with someone wich quite frankly i am not with anyone
i liek to be euphimistic and i hate when people are sad for no reason i absolutly despise "posers" aand im half afraid to wear my spikesin public becuase some1 wud beat me up on the movie towne side if they thought i was a homo!

:(

im really missing y simone..:( why is she avoiding me..well i know shes probly not but why not just send a message saying hi...i gtg now ..atleast update ur blog pleaseee simone i misss youuuu
......DINT EVER JUST POST IM SAD ON YOUR BLOGGG:( :( :( :(


it saddens me 2!:(

Lucy!

A SLUMBER did my spirit seal;
I had no human fears:
She seem'd a thing that could not feel
The touch of earthly years.
No motion has she now, no force;
She neither hears nor sees;
Roll'd round in earth's diurnal course,
With rocks, and stones, and trees.
wordsworth
sorry for the bootleg :P

this is my favorite poem by my favorite poet(one of) it reminds me of how human we are ...
it eases up my view on physical looks ^_^ you see no matter how beautiful it is ..the daintiest rose falls in the mud...just a thought We shudnt care how we dress atleast i dont blame girls for not really liking me but i hate when its cuz how i dress lol
nehow sorry for this post ..yeah it comes iwth an apology
i have to go buy myself a new tshirt ^_^
LoL Later hater!

why?

she leaves me in the cold :(

bubbles

I wonder what they"er standing on?
the silly little things
Dancing in the face of doom
they still appear to smile
Spinning wildly to demise
Yes(do),they accept there be?
Cause even when the hand is coming
the bubble is still free



i wonder whos gay toy i was playing with when i wrote this..

Violent Pornography...

brought to you by the same people who bring you jesus...((daron malakian)
THE WORD IS SEX MOMMY! the little girl screamed across the meeting pissed at her mom who keeps refering to sex as"it"
SEX AKA FUCK! do not wince at the word lol,look how sex is suddenly vulgar to us i say the word sex and im a pervert ,Think a bout it is sex supposed to be vulgarz?private at most but not vulgar not considered obscene ,we all do it because everyone needs a mother fucker!(cept jesus of course) the media has us liek this...bet you didnt know its nabisco huh... we are fucked in the brain by them the ycan make us buy dirt and make us think our gold is worth nothing..They make u seek good looks instead of love they fuck over whats natural in you and make you shame they string you up help you o become a puppet remove your face and make you a clone you wont resist you wont care aslong as you look pretty,soon you will have on a fake visage and you wont be able to move it ,like plastic your only there for show what people think...screw it im sick of writing depressings stuff to myself...

sex is no longer love...
i wanted love...

It's on the TV
Fuck
Turn off your TV
Can you say "brainwashing?"
It's a non-stop disco

10 things i appreciate ina girl

Lol i will just scribble this down
cuz i just realised it
5.self confidence 4.forgiving 3.caring &Understanding 2.SMARTNESS 1.indivuality!!!! <>
nah most important is one that wud love me for me lol sorry for being so gay -_-
edit post again
I WANT A GIRL WITH LIPPPSS LIEK MORPHINNEEE!

THIS POST IS AOBUT NOTHING

This is where ill write my dry boring blurbs -_- so effing bored and abandoned
ill write about me a little bit and edit it and edit it until i say something...
jus
post name its the most awesome word other than awesome ,i can not tell u what it means though.

today ive noticed ive never lied ive never had the need 2 i just choose my words quite carefully
today i regret i find im quite a horrible person,its so easy for me to make it seem ike im so good and right thank god this never evolved im 2 manipulative :( so sad.i apoliize but i can never write my sins here theyll sooner proove to be evidence ,i can merely say lol and admit,im praised as a saint when i usually play the part of Ddevil
i want to be a jugulator ill paint a big ass number 6 on my back bore my ears 7 times kick ass and do drugs lol
jokes i was just thinking of the word wtf is a juggulator?
lol
im writing so long and this is the only result im might not post,its 3.39pm august the 22nd august
i am liam rivero
the slightly tired awesome A.N.B.U Juggulator
currently my thoughts are going down a straight line its the only way i can describe it my heart is broken and i dont know why ,if not broken something is horribly wrong with it,im speaking proper english which is a common side effect of my tiredness,does ne1 ever notice that slang is harder to speak than proper english? i have no stereo type because i fit in nowhere atall...Im really depressed inside i try not to show it but some1 must no..noomne reads here so maybe i can admit it to myself ^_^ im way to bored at most times and i write to much

ForGet

We forget everything, its like a curse to human kind
or atleast me we forget minor things and big things
individually and as a Species
They forgot why they hated us so much ive noticed,its turned blind quite frankly,they just slap me for looking different now -_-
they forgot that view they had of the future ,flying cars world peace when they started to hate everything so much wars ,slavery all these things has kept mankind back,they forgot the eventual goal
maybe the hate made it blurry
we forgot the past, that probly why we seeked this future



im born in teh ninties and i swear i cud rememebr a better world not that better dotn go asking me what ninties i lived in but ways it wasa alot nicer maybe because i was a kid and my eyes were closed back then to all the bulshit but how i wish i cud live in teh past i remember

maybe its only when im tired and sleepy that i cud have critical thinking to finish these posts that relaxx in drafts so long..
just cuz it sounds cool ill write it
i want to live in a bleached world ,where we never go age and everything i the same forever
change is inevitable but still i wish
we cud stay with our big telephone booth cellphones and 2 bit internet connections i dont mind id trade this futture
everything will lose colour and newness and meaning but still its better than this hell called world,
leave me be im trying to figure out my thoughts whcih only come clear wen im in this mood
SOME ONE KICK ME OUT OF MY MIND I HATE THESE THOUGHTS I CANT DENY! i cant stop them they arnt definatly bad tehy are just realisation this post ended a whole paragraph ago im just tping as it comes to mind
and quite frankly
im sick of typing...

Personalisation

My blog looks metalic like a robot wrote let me write a little bit more about me in it
something i love
BASS~beis~BASE!!!!!
i love the stuff i love the guitars i love the trembling feeling i get in my chest when i hear it
i love to see shavo odad beat up his guitar even though hes playing it gently
i like to hear the energy they output with it even if its slow its like fast to me
its like crazy
DOOOM DOOOMM DOOOM DOOMM DOOOM< onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://msp223.photobucket.com/albums/dd27/Eddierocks123/BassGuitar.jpg">
"
and of course my "guitar hero
ze man is so awesome his bear d has not reached its full level of glorifications eh ,he slap you with it now!maybe knock your ass out
*~<>~*HERO WORSHIP :P*~<>~*

The nameless

One of the worst thins about being a slave
The mindrape of changing your name..it seems simple but its like you being you for all these years and then all of a sudden some one come up to you and says YOU ARNT LIAM ANYMORE! your name is clay now and that who u know yourself as is not you
your culture isnt allowed here cuz ur a slave and slaves dont do that
you are a slave and thast all you ever will be its liek they told them who to be its so horrible its like they sucked up everybit of individuality from them and told them who to be,like a society telling those slaves they just had to go and be slaves and thats all no matter how much i type this
thank god that there is no one telling us who to be and what to do these days ,no one making thse names or labels for us and dictating the pace of whcih we would other wise choose to live
thank god we are slaves to nothing and there is no one forcing some kind of norm on us...Oo
but wait?
how about "be black" or that place is for white people or things like this we learn fromthe media dont u think thats brain washing? i mean which bird do u see easier to control the bird that flies where it wants or the bied that mindlessly follows the crowd,which one wud u rather be lol
i dont mean one man is behind a desk wathing us and trying to make us do stuff i mean overall the media added up
wants us to be certain things im sure u know of labels how much times have u been called something your not? how much times have u worshipped the devil and didnt know about it...i know ive been told so much times but i swear i hate the guy the media the trend the religion and other things are fucking prying our minds
FUCK SHIT RETARD OF A SISTER RESET THE PC CUZ I WAS TAKING LONG SO I LOST MY THOUGHT!

Half Dead

As i stared up in the sky
a look of half death in my eye
My comrads lying around me
blood scathed
it stole them ,they died
it was floating there
black eyes with withered wings



ts a soilldier side type of thi ng i started to write and slost
got this little piece saved so

THe devil in the mirror

He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you....some german guy

Maybe ive stared at the world to long... maybe god has watched the earth to much until the world became god! damn sorry for my blaspheme
most people should look in a mirror and find themselves
maybe the people should look at their leaders and see what they might become we should all observe some more
but then saying it isnt enough right...
mirror mirror on the wall
whos fault is it all?
YOURS.. you alowed it al lto happen
but then who wudnt?
.........................................................


Everytime u out smart some1 everytime u cause some corruption,spread some hate EVERYTIME U DROP A BOMB every time u support and not try to stop every time u allow the weak to die...
you become the devil in the mirror...
Ddevil is so sweet
"stupid people do stupid things ,smart people outsmart each other AND THEN THEM SELVES!!!" they become the devil...

Twas a Kiss^_^

What is a kiss?
an act whre you try to suck the other persons tongue out while swallowing as much of their saliva as you can?a lusty act at the beggining sex(foreplay?) well not to me infact i wouldnt kiss with my tongue on someone else"s mouth Unless of course they wanted me to hehe :P lol no
to me a kiss ...is a sigh of love yes the simplest way to tell some1 you love them without sounding like a complete ass
or making your friend feel akward ,its like the best way to keep in the held in love like totally letting it out and they cant feel bad ,with a kiss i want to take you into my world if only for a second,to show them how i feel if only for a flash make them come to better terms with how u feel i dont know if i can ever make them understand but i try to say it in a kiss
i kissed simone today
you should kiss someone you love too ,u dont have to love them like a girlfriend u shud kiss them a hug is the same thing if u do it when iu mean it hug ur guy friend if u want! ^_^ its all cool once u mean to spread the love thats all we need most likely to make the world a less shitty place just a little bit of love will turn this dust ball to a much nicer place
with this im not hating anything anymore..anything

hehe im not a big headed emo thing but u get the idea >.> <.<
eKiss to neone who comes across this post i lub u all :P

We dont try to save it...

Very sorry to say this poem was deleted this morning and i cudnt remember it so here is the watered down version sorry :(

IInsomnia
IInsomniac dreams
my life is a nightmare
constantly trapped in"a
cage of mystery and fear
the inhabitants are angry
they"re drowning, they"re dieing
the walls are cracking
should i break it all
does the plague end
when my eyelids fall?

no its raining in my head im haunted no matter what Oo but say what atleast when i close my eyes i dont have to see reality its liek a sign from something that i shud study this reality and do somethign about it not close my eyes to the truth like how i oh so badly want to
not live in my own little insane world where everything is ok were all happy and a peach is all we need to eat for our whole lives ,wont that just be nice but for now my eyes are pulled open by the pressures maybe for now i cant help anyone much but later i swear for now i will witness and watch and try to understand so that maybe ill have some experience <-- i bet if there was oil and or money in darfur wed see a lot of soildiers swarming to save them now huh?
peace
ill set up music and hippify my blog tomorrow
ill save the world lol
no i wont ill leave it just slightly better than i met it...

K so i wont copy over that whole blog

ill just write about me simplified i havent discovered me yet
i say im awesome but im just liam
u can all me liam ill still always be awesome my brains quite dumb but my head is smart i listen to punk and metal and rtap and anything i love music art i love it i dont feel to write but soemtimes i force myself see i cud never write myself so ud have to read both blogs or never understand infact u can read both blogs and understand a little bit i love art i have written some poems but not much i want to m,ake a poetry book i want to live god and this is the time i bet my bottom dollar im gonna die nehow
my blog is actually aobut nothing but my thoughts and saying and anydamn thing i feel liek putting copyrighted by awesome liam
umm np insight here nope just a dood who said he was gonna excercise everyday since he weighed 144 and a few months later weighs 150
i mean why do we quit so much el oh el i mean me why do i quit so muc hi mean il lcommit to something the ionly thing i really have done so far is my blog and my friends and religion ,excercise which recently i have quit
i have a dream that one day ill put my mind to something and suceed but that seems like forever away
im listening to bleeding mascara right now
life is cool
my emotuion well is dry i just want to put up some pictures if that is ok its liek the best i cud express myself





shavo odadjian my metal rolemodel
he rules even if he aethiest he is awesome so fuckign awesmme i i wish i cud cath him and make him my slave lol lol

Liam^_^

LIFE IS AWESOME MAN! well its not but im being proactive im beggining to think i shud get everything from over there to here
all the sensible things anyway! Oo
not the personal stuff maybe this will be my thought blog!
well seeing that i forgot about this im gonna commit to it now since simone and her smarty pants self proved that this site is better than blo drive lol
nehow im 5"9 and significantly heavier than 144 probly about 10 pounds im still black probly even blacker lol but it dosnt matter im currently a bare backed black guy listening to slipknot in a biasd are againts all things not rap-dancehall
yes i lost the care im sorry im making this a real long post so i cud give it a reast currently i indulge in heracy but i dont mind cuz im making it to heaven and i know it what sounds like blashphamy isnt always there its not im not evil i love god but my own god a next story
current obscessions-system of a down ,v for vendetta ,boobs lol :P
im quite the idle person no one will ever understand
im a scar on broadwy u just have to see and hear i dont expect most people to understand i ramble alot but its my only talent
goal: im want to be a therapist or pshycologist(slightly differnt) i want to a be a mind doctor frued aint got nothing on me :P(i speak as if i knwo alot of freud)

i start this blog for blogdrive has failed me one time to many it has robbed me of some memorable moments i will continue it but also this one
i will write my inner thoughts here seeing that less people will read this so i cud write alot and put way more pics since blog drive limits me
i am liam
i am awesome
im often praised as saint ,when i mostly play the devil
i am rebellion ,i am freedom,i am self expression
ive opened my eyes and mind i have alot of problems but i rather keep my mind in the clouds than on the world
my reality sucks but every1 elses dosnt i hope i can help some1 lol in life the song of the moment to me for the while is ddevil by system of a down and im sick of typing